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Tired: resume
Wired: salary-walled resume
"OOPS!
Looks like you want a real go-getter who takes initiative in a fast paced working environment!
These added value premium features and advanced pro-company behaviors require a salary boost! Increase my salary for instant access."
(Tier 1)$ "Practically Already Quiet Quitting " Basic Value Employee
- Loves to discuss unions.
(Tier 2) $$$ “Really Need This Job” Moderately effective employee (Most Popular!)
- Shows up, does the work.
(Tier 3)$$$$$ “Happy To Be Here!”
- Ludicrously overpaid but…
- …Saves on hiring a replacement in 6 months.
- “Going places.” Maybe not to your competition!
- “Less likely to curse your name and air your dirty laundry under the cover of various pseudonyms in online discussions and AMAs!”
Thanks for making me laugh
develop my personality as a career person.
I would hire him for his audacity, versatility. We need fun clever people in the workplace who aren’t dead inside yet.
This what we should really do. They like to pass through hundreds of interviews and if, if, you manage to get to the final, like it’s hunting games mate. Check mate.
Brilliant
DQ’ed due to including a photo which is inviting discrimination. Also DQ’ed due to lack of statement of applicable skills to BFOQs, And, no references.
Cute idea, but bad formatting. If you want to do something like this:
- Don’t include a picture.
- Highlight BFOQs from the job posting.
- Make your minimum salary requirement clear.
- Include at least 2 references which refer to specific skills or BFOQ competencies.
Dairy Queen’ed?
Diss Qualified, as in qualified to diss.
At least is not DN.
if there is no picture, if it’s just text, no one would be inrigued enough to want to unlock it.
Got it, paste part of a picture that looks like a nude.
Include YouTube reaction face and you’re hired!
Pointing soyjack squad, deploy! Lol
Thanks GPT.
Those aren’t my initials, care to spin the letter wheels again?
where /s?
BFOQ?
Bona fide occupational qualification. Basically the things a lawyer or HR person looks at to say whether a candidate was hired or someone was fired for a valid reason.
Some places have the photo as the default
