I would imagine most drug use is recreational and I’m not implying anything about your usage pattern. I do like drugs and getting high from time to time but the habitual use of drugs was a bad sign that I ignored for years. Addiction is a problem, especially if we hide, deny or condemn it. We’re all imperfect and yet deserving of love and respect.
Making something nice out of junk and repairing things is immensely satisfying. Lately I’ve turned a fallen tree into wood shingles to clad an outbuilding and installed a reclaimed ornate window.
Getting into cooking, which is most rewarding when done with family and friends. Today’s recipe is spinach and ricotta pasta.
I love programming and there are endless things to build in that world. Currently making a log burning stove control system using an Arduino, sensors and servos.
The rest of my recreational time is spent gaming on a pc, World War Z right now, love a co-op.
I smoked a lot of weed as a young adult. Looking back on that time I believe that I was escaping from the endless intrusive thoughts. Focusing my mind on any sort of work was difficult and I used all sorts of substances to get by. My typical usage profile is to find something appealing and use the shit out of it until it becomes a problem, spend time recovering and repeat with the next chemical. After recovering from heroin addiction it became obvious that it was not normal behaviour and I sought medical advice. They diagnosed ADHD and many of the past events started to make sense. I use routine to bring order to my life. I meditate to calm the mind. The medication allows me to focus and prioritise tasks. I think of my life in two starkly distinct chapters, pre and post diagnosis. I feel happy and the thought of taking substances seems like a strange thing to do.
One of the abiding childhood memories of hugging my mother is that it felt like hugging a tree. She obviously didn’t like it but wouldn’t reject the hug and it never prevented me from doing it but it struck me as odd, even as a ten year old. My dad would hug us normally and hold hands. Later on I realised that we’re probably all autistic and have sensory issues. These days I love hugs with my daughter and she always seeks my hand to hold.