I know the most common advice is to join local groups/clubs, but my town seems to only have religious, DnD, and MtG groups publicly posted, and as much as I’ve tried I just can’t get into playing DnD/MtG
Does anyone have any app recomendations they’ve had luck with, or other advice?
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Are there any climbing gyms or bicycle rides?
^ chill folks that will likely be into a variety of things you might also be. will be helpful and nurture the stoke
They really are! I’ve brushed against these climbing communities before and long been drawn to go (for many reasons haven’t). Why is this? Why does it seem like this attracts chill people?
Lately I’ve realized I need to get back into some sport again, whether that’s pick-up soccer, racquetball, climbing or something… Good for the soul. Too old for hockey now, I think lol.
I first thought it may be some of the common reasons or qualities possessed by the people that seek or find climbing, but it might also be what is learned through climbing… you build strength, practice trust, patience, safety, care, curiosity, likely an adventurous spirit. Usually attracts people that are generally interested in the outdoors or earth, which apparently are often just kind, open-minded individuals. Many people trying to find themselves or just better themselves. May just be going for stoke.
this is precisely why i avoid climbers. they have this holier than thou mentality and act like anyone who doesn’t climb is some unenlightened fool and prattle on about how ‘superior’ they are for climbing. that is not an attitude i would call open minded.
not to mention i’ve literallly been lectured by them about how stupid i was not for climbing or not being interested in it. ironically if i tried to tell them about mountain biking or my outdoor interests they would shut me down and just talk about their climbing epiphanies or something. rude af
that’s pretty annoying and sounds like a shit experience but it does happen unfortunately. not everybody’s a self-righteous tool up their own ass
have definitely been on the receiving end of such a rant or lecture really
floating the thought of pedal assist to MTB people is enough to rustle some jimmies lmao
my experience with climbers is they are anti-chill, and they have like nothing else going on in their life other than climbing and treat it like a religious cult. so i avoid them now.
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I recently went to a pottery shop for a christmas event. I bought a piece from a woman there, and as she excitedly told me about some of her projects, I shared some of mine. It seemed like we had a lot in common, so I said “I think we should be friends” and gave her my number. She texted and tomorrow we’re going out for karaoke.
I made friends with my dog’s groomer the same way. If you vibe with someone you meet in the course of life, you can act like a child and just straight up invite them to be friends.
As far as apps go, JustServe and Meetup are working to help me. The first is a volunteer app and the second tells you about random things people are doing in your area.
If there’s an activity or skill you’ve been wanting to get into, you could try taking a class in that. You’ll meet some other people at your approximate skill level, and it’s an opportunity to socialize.
I’ve personally met a lot of people through climbing gyms and dance classes, both activities where you’re often paired up with one other person. Bouldering is great for smalltalk as well, because people are often eager to discuss approaches to the problem.
Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve also met some friends through work colleagues. A colleague of mine was going hiking with friends and invited me along, and since the friends didn’t work in the same company as us it felt disconnected enough from work for me at least.
Social sport is good. No pressure to be skilled, people can be really encouraging and the ones that aren’t move on pretty quickly. You don’t need to be good, you just need a good attitude.
Walk around your neighborhood and open your eyes to what organizations and institutions exist.
Try sports, gardening, making art, music, and look for shared workshops used for woodworking, car or bicycle enthusiasts, and such.
There’s also always the option to announce your own event, meetup, or activity.
More adventurous route: get addicted to drugs or gambling and then go to self help groups.
I giggled a little too hard since I actually ended up in a psych ward while moving cross country and made some friends there. Unfortunately my stay was 2 states away from the one I live in now so not even that worked out lol
But thank you for the advice and I think I’ll check out joining sometype of sport, most likely rock climbing(always had an intrest but never the motivation) since that seems to be widely recommended and just seems like a fun time even if I don’t end up meeting anyone
If you do something you enjoy, you will attract other people who enjoy the same things.
Your local area would be the best place to start
There are plenty of local, secular, community service groups. I know it’s associated with old people, but my local Rotary club has a lot of good people and we do a lot of good in the community. This isn’t the only option, there are lots of community service organizations and it’s a great place to meet people.
I find it helpful to start by looking for hobbies you enjoy for the hell of it and then seeing if there’s a community around that. Making friends seems to be a bit easier when there’s a shared activity to chat about. For example, I took up acoustic guitar and met a lot of people who like to jam together. Also started learning a type of dance and got involved in the community by attending classes and socials. My buddy met his main friend group at a rock climbing gym when he took up bouldering.
For apps/websites, I had luck attending a few Meetups, e.g. like for people learning a foreign language who want to practice with each other. Some people join rec leagues or attend tabletop game nights.
I personally don’t use social media much but it can be useful to see if there are any local events to checkout nearby.
Host a platform. Print out flyers and stick it around in your area.
Got kids? School has millions of parent orginizations that need help. I just got back from the band boosters meeting… not to mention scouts. Great ways to meet people.
parks and rec is always running events of some sort, find something. You can often attend events at any nearby city (suburb) too
- what are you interested in? Hobbies, sports, whatever.
- Check at you local library (gym/stadium/…) and do it IRL, not online & ask the librarian if there are activities announced that relate to 1. Why irl and why ask an actual person? Because not everything is announced through apps or online and because word of the mouth is still the best way to advertise anything local ;)
My local libraries not only all organize their own set of events, around various topics, but they will also happily relay events happening elsewhere.
Start your own group.
You can’t expect other people cater to your preferences if they are unpopular. people like popular things. if you don’t like popular things it will be hard to connect to people. watching sports is an easy way to connect with people.
Are there any causes you’re interested in? Volunteering is a good way to meet people. Having some kind of structured activity besides “making friends” and defined start/end times can be helpful to take pressure off.
think of something better to do with your time and then start doing it with people
