I saw this note on the nightshade website:
For now, if you want to shade your own art, you should Nightshade it first, then Glaze it for protection.
I think it would be neat if people could donate computer time to artists to run nightshade, but it doesn’t look like there’s a docker image with a web UI I could host.
Here’s my advice as someone who basically could have written this post when I was your age (I’m now 30)
You can absolutely find a partner who wants to be free from gender expectations and find a relationship like you describe (I did!), but it will be extremely hard to find if you don’t put yourself out there and get used to sorting through the majority who are satisfied with gender roles.
The most important things imo are to 1. Keep putting yourself out there when you have the energy. 2. Take breaks if you have to, don’t let the experience make you jaded or let that frustration affect how you treat others because that’s an easy way to repel someone who would otherwise be a great match. 3. Keep being yourself, don’t be afraid to showcase the ways in which you are not traditionally masculine. I literally put a picture of myself in a maid outfit on tinder and I get quite a few compliments. You’ll only repel the people you don’t want and it’ll be like a beacon to attract those who view gender roles in the same way that you do.
To your last point, I would guess a lot of guys probably live quietly unhappy. But plenty have found accepting partners and social circles who are open minded about identity and gender expression.
Supposedly comaps has carplay support as of like 2 months ago, according to a page on their website